So Long Teenage Years

Birthdays are always funny. The culture creates age requirements for different responsibilities, and we become accustomed to meet this standard which allows us to partake in some sort of activity - driving at 16, adulthood and tobacco use at 18, and drinking at 21. Along with the national age requirements, there are the ones within a community, like years in college or years of "experience." The silly part comes that once we finally reach these goals, we hardly actually feel different other than acknowledging the fact we finally reached whatever standard. If we were not to keep track of these things and purely judge people on their actions and personality themselves, we would actually see the readiness of an individual to handle some sort of privilege.

Although I am not meeting any of these "standards" today, today is still my 20th birthday, and I have left my teenage years. With reaching this new achievement (if you like so say it is one), I hardly feel ready, nay worthy, to leave my teenage years. I have much to learn and figure out about being an individual adult, bringing me to my next point. Besides giving us privileges, standards show us something else our lack of measuring up, and no, I will not be going into some post on the grace of God.

When we realize that we have failed to meet the standards of the standard, it reminds us that we have either lost something or that we have something that must be attained. When nearing graduation, the high school or college ill-prepared student realizes that in moments, real life is starting up and they don’t know their next step. At 40, men face their mid-life crisis and realize they have fallen out of their prime and need to start living their life again. Now I'm twenty, and it's time to really start thinking about life because holding onto what I have believed fails to cut it from time to time.

Since today is my birthday and marks the beginning of my 20s, this marks the beginning of the growth of myself as an individual, making the significance of change in this summer even greater. This summer I am learning to separate moments of reflection from moments of fun and not let the two conflict with one another, within reason. Some of the greatest value comes from teamwork and community, and as much as I would like to do something by myself, more hands and more heads can complete a task quickly and more efficiently (Thank you principles of Computer Science). When learning, there is some sort of external teacher; whether nature, individual, book, etc., something must teach the learner. Even though I am satisfied with this observation now more open to others teaching me, as a feisty introvert, I am highly hesitant to being vulnerable. This is when my "lack of concern" for individuality must take place, for I must realize the greater of the two is community. So in this moment of maturity, the time has come for me to break down the walls of introversion and get this life moving.

"Play" Summer Has Arrived

On Friday, I took my last final, and my summer officially started. Seeing this summer as my last "play" summer (possible internship next summer and real life after that), I have high hopes and large goals to accomplish. With my focal points being seeing, learning, and changing, my intentions are to go out this summer and do just that: seeing what's going on around me, learning what's been so murky this semester, and changing what hasn't been up to par in my life.

For the next month, my days will be spent in San Diego, exploring what I haven't really had the opportunity to explore with school and track going on. My goal is to have a slight glimpse of seeing if San Diego is a place I could see myself staying after I graduate in 2 or 3 years. On the side, I’ll be speaking with some professors and exploring Theology. After I leave San Diego, I'll be making my way up California, and then I begin exploring Oregon and maybe Washington and Canada. Growing up, I spent much time in my routine and failed to truly experienced these places I've been so near to.

This whole time, I will hopefully be meeting with professors and pastors in these various areas and learning about Theology and Philosophy to answer some of the obscure beliefs that I've been facing this past semester. Perhaps I will put together some sort of Q&A for them to provide a structure of conversation. I will be going through literary works such as Summa Theologica and The Monstrosity of Christ for supplement of these conversation. Then, I'll be writing essays whichever topics I find worthy. Currently free will and possible prayer are on my mind, but my learning does not only consist of theological issues, but I also plan on practicing guitar constantly on top of piano to develop my musical talents as well.

Change is the most obscure of my goals because I don't know exactly what I want changed, but I do know that I want this summer to change me personally, intellectually, socially, and spiritually (if that's even applicable). To some extent, my other goals will be enough to cause some change in my life, and perhaps I will lead me to be more extroverted in the process. Well, I will have to give this goal more time, even though it’s the most important of all my goals.

Well, this blog is intended to be a place of experiences and progress as they become more evident. I would greatly appreciate those who Subscribe for Email Updates or choose to Follow me via Blogger over the summer. Feel free to place your input on any post which compels you even the slightest.