Tetelestai: "It. Is. Finished."

I've been driving around the past month with 8 books sitting in my trunk, but I pick up one of these books once, maybe twice, a week. So as part of my goals for the next few weeks, I wanted to finish at least half of these books. I'm around 30minutes finishing the first one but I had to stop and write this blog because I was struck with an epiphany.

Several weeks ago, I was dying to read Rob Bell's latest book, Love Wins. Bell came and spoke at my college in February, and I had heard of this controversial book and wanted to pick it up. With all that I had been wanting to learn this summer, I ordered the book but simply could not wait for it to come. So, I found an audio version of the book online and downloaded it. I started listening to it, and then I realized I should take notes on my computer simultaneously, making it much easier to multitask as well as finish the book in less than 4 hours and have a collection of notes. With 30 minutes left on the audiobook, Bell struck me with an idea, and I merely could no longer focus because my thoughts were racing, he was continuing to talk, and I was still trying to take notes. So now I have paused the book, and put on my "Jon Schmidt Radio"(Solo Piano) on Pandora.

Although many, as well as myself, would say that Bell has some obsure beliefs, he presents an overwhelming image of the sacrifice of Christ using the story of the prodigal son. Within the story of the prodigal son, there are four smaller stories: the younger son's story of himself, the older son's story of himself, and the father's story for both of his sons. The younger son comes home thinking that he is unworthy to be called a son and will settle to be a servant for his father, but the father says otherwise, "Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found." Meanwhile, the older son comes home from the fields to this celebration and says to his father that he has been slaving away for his father and hasn't received as much as a goat for his own celebration with his friends, but his younger brother gets a whole celebration in his name even though he left. The father goes on to reshape his story as well, "My son... you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."

The younger son though he was unworthy to be called a son, and the older brother thought of himself as more of a servant, but the father tells them both that they are both his sons. I always thought this story was about returning to God and knowing that you will be accepted but there's more than that. It's about choosing heaven over hell, choosing to be loved for what you are or holding onto your beliefs about yourself. That's what Christ came to do, to tell us that we are loved. Return to Him becuase "It.Is.Finished."



During this last spring, a good friend of mine shared the meaning of "tetelestai" in our weekly friday track team devotional. tetelestai translated literally means "it is finished." It is the last word that Jesus said on the cross when he was crucified, but simply translated as "It is finished," the word loses it power and context. Back in the ancient days, when you owed someone you performed labor for them if you could not provide the money. When you had done enough labor, tetelestai was written on a business documents to say that someone's debt had been paid in full and no more money or labor was necessary, they were free. So when Jesus said "tetelestai" on the cross, He was saying "It is finished. Your debt has been paid in full. You are free."

I had heard this all before, but today it finally started coming together. My debt has been PAID IN FULL. God has said "YOU ARE MY SON." It is now up to me to accept God's story for me, or to hold to the story I have written myself, a story absent of love and soaked in insecurity. Choosing the latter is denying to live in the Kingdom of God and partaking in a reality where the love of God cannot flourish. "Tetelestai." My debt has been paid in full.

IT. IS. FINISHED.

Mid-summer Regroup

I woke up "early" this morning to "grab coffee" with a "friend from high school." By "early," mean I had to set an alarm for 8am. By "grab coffee," I mean have an awesome conversation that time could not allow for. Lastly by "friend from high school," I mean an outstanding individual from 3rd grade who I am more than glad to know, Kristina.

The conversation helped me make note to myself of what I desired to do this summer. Although I planned on going to Canada this summer, I have lost track of time and don't believe I will be able to incorporate it with the lighter details of summer goals. All the previous goals I had set were lost over a month ago along with my notebook that I write just about everything in. I bought a new notebook a few days ago, and now it holds new goals for the last month of summer before I return to San Diego.

A major goal for me this summer that has not changed was to write blog entries this summer concerning my beliefs on theology, or at least study it more. Lately though, I have been satisfied with other projects, like ThisIsPortlandia and working on my car, and my own isolated rumination of God rather than taking in new ideas. I've been wrestling on my own and it has become time to take more in. Kristina and I began talking about books that we've been reading and it reminded me that I have about 8 books sitting in my trunk that I wanted to read this summer, but all I've done is spent a few moments in them and then set them down.

So along with finally reading those books. I've made goals for the playful and simple things of summer like painting or playing guitar or taking night pictures of downtown, just small things to keep me entertained and sane while at the same time providing a feeling of productivity.

In these last few weeks of summer, part of my goals is to finally keep you all updated with blog posts. So, I'll be keeping them coming. Time to get this summer rolling.

Dunes Bible Camp Reflection 2011

After returning from two weeks as a counselor at Dunes Bible Camp, I hold onto mixed emotions as I look back on the experience. I did three different camps of various age groups, Jr High, primary (1st-3rd grade), and junior (4th-6th grade). I feel as though it went by so fast and at the same time, it felt like I was there forever, but returning home, it feels like I was only gone a couple days. At times the kids were frustrating and at other times they brought me the greatest joy. Much of it is a blur together and full of so many different experiences, but I'll only share the best, the worst, the most awkward, and the greatest thing I learned.

The Worst:
For the worst experiences, I had the hardest times getting the campers to focus during our downtimes. Fun times were awesome, my co-counselor's and I had a difficult time getting them to say anything serious or even pay attention when we would have cabin discussions. Next time, if the opportunity ever rises again, we will definitely need to do cabin time not in the cabin.
Other than trying to get them to be slightly serious, the other "worst" experiences came from the random times outside of cabin time that they chose to open up, and you began to here parts of their stories that utterly broke your heart. There was a moment on the last night of Junior camp, in which campers could share how they were giving something to God. The first girl to share something opened up her story with "when I was 2 days old, my father left me," and she continued saying that she has written him letters over the years and has never gotten anything back. She's never heard or seen from her father and my heart just sank. I was sitting next to one of my campers and that hit him hard because his parents split when he was 2 years old and he only sees his father once maybe twice a year down in Mexico. It was stories like that created the "worst" experiences of the time, which lead to the best moments.

The Best:
The best moments come off of the "worst" moments, and hearing these kids stories. They are so young but to really connect with some kids is awesome. I just wish that I had a little more time with them, that these moments did not end with camp. These kids surprised me with when they would decide to open up but I loved their honesty, but they were exactly the reason why I wanted to do these camps, to hear and love in these moments of brokeness.
My other best moments came just from hanging out with all the little buggas: algae fights in the lake, dancing to silly camp songs, joking about whatever, and people-watching. It was all so good. Probably one of my favorite kids was Alex in the Junior camp because he was smart, funny, and real. It was awesome because it seemed he was actually human and not a kid. It made me wish that I had a little brother. I have no other way of explaining it, but he was a bomb diggity kid.

The Most Awkward:
There weren't too many straight up awkward moments. It's church camp so you learn that anything goes and ya gotta do whatcha gotta do. During junior high camp, there was a group of girls in the chapel lawn that decided to play the "penis" game, in which you progressively start saying, "penis" louder and louder. So going over there and talking to them about that was decently awkward.
Since I have been struggling so much with theology lately, "spreading the gospel" has become a difficult task and definitely awkward. Sorting through my beliefs for myself was difficult and then trying to present the basic principles of evangelical Christian was awkward, thinking I don't know really know how I feel about this and I have to explain it to children, but this is probably the greatest thing I learned over the weeks.

Greatest Thing I Learned:
Recently, I had been so caught off guard by the various branches of belief and truth that I lost track of the basics. I mean just before camp I was listening to an audio version of Love Wins by Rob Bell, and that was getting my mind flowing. Although it was hard trying to explain to them something that I myself was slightly unsure of, Dunes helped me get back to the basics and beginning to focus on what is at the core of the Christian belief.