The Invitation

“Emotionally, how does it feel to be wrong?” asked Kathryn Schulz in a presentation I recently watched on TED Talks. Peering out into the crowd, she listened for some responses.

“Dreadful.”

“Embarrassing.”

A thumbs-down from the girl in the background.

Schulz points out that these were great answers, but they were answers to a different question: “You guys are answering the question, ‘How does it feel to realize you’re wrong?’” She continued, “Being wrong feels like being right.”

Much of the time, we live our lives thinking we’re right, especially us as Christians.

Recently, a fellow Christian and I sent messages back and forth, aiming to resolve a conflict. “Sorry that I expected as a man of God you would…” she wrote, feeling my Christianity threatened. “Apparently we are in two different places spiritually,” the following sentence proclaimed.

The statements interrogated my spirituality deeply, as I saw her godliness surpassing mine, and suddenly, I sat astonished.

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The other week, I was sitting in a small group meeting. Fifteen guys sat in a circle, discussing what it looked like to follow and Jesus and what that looks like in our life.

“I realized I don’t have to worry because God has it under control,” said one. “God just wants to spend time with us,” reaffirmed another.

With almost each self-focused statement, my heart pounded in my chest.

“It’s not about you!” my heart pressed but properly failed to have the audacity to say.

As Christians, we’ve started missing what’s important. We discover it’s so easy to point fingers and so easy to make ourselves feel better, but is it really about either? We look in the mirror declaring all the ways we’ve done right and denouncing the places where we’re just a little off.

Proud we reprimanded him,

Ecstatic we defended Genesis 1,

And thrilled we can honestly say we’ve never had a sip of alcohol.

We’re told to be humble, but we develop this pride as though we have the answers to all of life’s questions. Instead, we just end up pointing fingers at those who have yet to realize that Christianity is the antithesis of discrimination. Once we stop judging others, stop praising ourselves, and start stepping back, we realize what we missed before and see all that’s wrong with the world.

That we should not have a faucet in the kitchen, the bathroom, and the other bathroom, along with a hose protruding from the side of the house; and they should not need to walk five miles to find clean water.

That she should not complain about a soft overripe apple, and he should not be living underneath that bridge, hoping tomorrow brings a meal.

That I should not worry if he will text me back, and she should not sit in the comforting darkness of her own room, wondering about the best way to take her own life.

In neglecting something greater than ourselves, we make Christianity to be about morals and God to be our therapist. We forget the portion of our spirituality that is an invitation to be a vessel of God and a tool for God’s work among humanity. We think we have this whole Christianity thing figured out but forget the part where we’re saying we know the will of God:

Why she has cancer,

Why he had to die,

Or why I’m gay.

We were placed in a unique relationship to God, a relation that says, “I am God. You are human. I know. You don’t.” The words come back, and we are humbled and left with an invitation to work within community, seeing to it that this invitation does not end with me and reaches beyond you.

This invitation to participate goes to my uncle who denounces religion, to that guy I almost dated who called me ignorant for being a Christian, and to each individual who told us that we had to change in order to be accepted in this community. The invitation is a beautiful gift that catches us off guard when our heart breaks for them and melts for him, reminding us with the words, “You are well, but remember, they need you. Love them for Me.”

Fundamentals

My small private Christian high school could be described as decently conservative, maybe overwhelmingly conservative, practicing some of the you-say-a-swear-word-you’re-going-to-hell Christianity and turn-or-burn religion.

Detentions were handed out for saying the word “fart” and don’t even thing about saying “c-r-a-p.”

The Bible was taught as a science book, the key to all knowledge, and evolution was that bad “e”-word.

Bad things don’t just happen because adversity is God’s judgment and punishment for all the times you don’t follow the commandments.

Blessings are handed out to good people, but don’t worry, grace still exists… somewhere.

My sophomore year of high school, I was dating this guy. I would hardly call it dating, but at the time, we labeled it, so I’ll label it now. He went to a different school, but we would see each other at track meets. Between events, we’d leave the track, talk for several minutes, kiss goodbye, and walk back to the track.

Some of my good friends heard what had been going on, and news began to travel. Eventually, it made it to my track coach… some other parents… and some teachers. Sure enough, I became a big target.

Warming up for my district meet, a parent pulls me aside and asks me if we can talk in the bleachers. We sit down, and our conversation begins: “Sean, if you were driving a car, and I knew the bridge ahead of you was out, I would be a fool to not warn you.”

Not exactly what I was expecting, but she continued, “Other parents and teachers are giving me a hard time because they know what you have been doing...”

Caught, and my eyes began to water as I became more disconnected from the conversation, or lack there of. Amongst my anxious staring, foggy eyes, and sorrowful sniffles, I made out, “Sean, God has no reason to bless you.”

Images of my track career going down the drain began flooding my mind, and my please-God-to-get-good-things background began to solidify. Grace had no place because of course, I had to earn grace. I had to work hard enough, and then I would gain God’s favor because God only gives things to the righteous.

I put my shades on to cover my watery, bloodshot eyes and finished my warm-ups. I won four events that day, and I didn’t leave the track with my boyfriend at all.

God blessed me with a place that taught me the key to success: please God and gain the desires of your heart. Why offer your life as it is and allow God’s will to work in your life when you can work to please God yourself and gain self-righteousness?

Grace never really made sense to me there, but that’s all right. One extreme showed me the other extreme, and indecisiveness taught me to look for the median.

Sometimes God meets us where we are, where Christians are too afraid to go, working in the lives of the undeserving:

Saving an adulteress from being stoned,

Embracing a bewildered lost son,

And kickin’ it with the outcasts.

Jesus taught the futility of all people, the lack of ability to do it oneself. Sin is best manifested in the idea of thinking that one can live this life on their own, thinking that everyday can be handled without the presence of God, without the Spirit.

The debt has been paid, and we have been taught to love God and to love others. Too many times have I tried to understand God and save others. I don’t know why it didn’t make sense earlier: love others, embrace them as they are, and let the Spirit take care of the rest. It’s all I can do.

Breakfast with the Author of The Shack

I grew up with the greatest privilege of knowing the Paul Young and his children. Paul is the author of New York’s Times Best Seller, The Shack, and possibly one of the most intelligent individuals I have personally known. Back on August 17th, I had breakfast with him, a time that is still continuing to shape my faith. The premise of our conversation comes from my brokenness from my spring semester 2011. Back in May, I wrote ”Play” Summer has Arrived, and he was one of the individuals that I wanted to talk with so that I could develop some affirmations in my theology.

I was at the Young household one day and explained where I have been and asked him if he wanted to get coffee or breakfast later in the week. He was more than glad to. May I add that he and his family are some of the biggest characters of love.

One of the first things he explained to me, which I think is detrimental to his as well as our own theology, is that our religion is based on relationship. We are involved with this God and this God is involved with us. It dates back before creation. Part of how I was rationalizing the trinity in my head, I was using this God beyond comprehension that expresses himself in three persons – the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Paul started tinkering with that, arguing that that view made God self-centered and apart from relationship. He started explaining to me the distinctness of the three persons and how they are in relationship with one other and express other-focused love. When we start there, it redefines everything.

After he explained salvation, I couldn’t help but ask the question, “What now?” It was one of the burning questions in my heart. He went on to explain by bringing out the uniqueness of individuals and how we are an expression of God’s love and God’s character. We all hold and share some of the characteristics and attributes of God in some way, He specifically explained it like this:

Whether you know it or not, Jesus has placed his love for his Creation in your heart, and you are sharing the way god loves this planet… When you see that mom who loves her little child and gets up at two in the morning dog-dead tired to take care of her baby, she is sharing the part of God in a passion he shares with her. When you see the way two people care and love each other. When you see the way the farmer plows the ground and works the soil. He is sharing not only in the way in God’s affection for growing things but also the love for us and providing for us. It’s everywhere. Every good thing comes from God. I can talk to the musician who is so anti-religion and mad at God and hear in his music the presence of the Holy Spirit because that desire to create truth or declare something wrong is a good thing. Whether he knows Jesus name or not, whether he knows where it comes from or not, it’s not a limitation of God’s creation. We’ve created a very static model of whether you’re in or out. You know what it is, it’s not about asking Jesus into our lives, it’s about realizing we’ve always been included in his.

It goes back to the relationship I mentioned earlier, we are all designed to work within creation and in relation with one another. When seen like this, you start seeing that we are all tools of God’s expression of love, unique individuals designed for some sort of love of God. You start to lose sight of the idea that it’s just you and start seeing that relation of all creation with itself and its Creator.

Back in the spring, one of the biggest things I felt I lost was my purpose, and Paul’s description of “what now” finally started getting me to remember that I was created for something. The near restoration of purpose was satisfying, but another characteristic of God that faltered along with my faith was that He worked presently throughout my life. I explained to Paul a friend’s challenge of open theism, and he came back with the idea of deep intimacy, that God created me and knows me so well that He knows what will happen and what I’m gonna do. One of my biggest concerns with the elimination of God’s purpose in my life was realizing that I could potentially mess something up, that God had an intention but I could’ve gone astray long ago.

We have created our certainty on theological ideas, not on his character, not on the fact He loves you. And so what God challenged was a good challenge, he was challenging the fact that you were thinking you had a relationship because you were trusting in theological certainties, like God has a plan and all this. God G-O-D distant. It’s this certainty based in his attributes not based his character. That he is for you all the time that he knows you intimately, he knows how you’re built, you matter to him. He loves you relentlessly and you can’t change the way he loves you. There’s nothing you can do to change the way he loves you. He already knows you’re gonna screw up. He’s worked it in… [H]e says look, “I know it’s going to take you 42 times to get this. So the first time I tell you and you totally ignore it. I’m going 41 to go. So I celebrate the fact that you didn’t hear Me because I know how long it’s going to take you.” This is relationship with somebody who absolutely adores you, who you are, how you have been created.

This was when our conversation became emotional on my part. I don’t think I allowed him to see that it was getting to me, but when he was saying that, I was holding back tears, internally fighting what he was saying, not because it finally made sense, but because I still could not believe it was true. I could not see it. I cannot see it. With focusing on faith for Peter’s Challenge, this is one of the ideas that I can only hold by faith because I don’t think I can see it any other way. This is when my faith starts to flourish again, realizing I need to trust God as well as other people as extensions of God’s love. As a thinker, I create a lot of scenarios in my head, but “God doesn’t live inside anything that is not real.” Paul explained that the biggest fear that comes of negative or imaginative thoughts is that God does not move there, and they come out of our already corrupt thought processes. No doubt that they could potentially do well, but it’s in these thoughts to be wary.

What now is wrapped up in who you are and who you’re becoming, the deepening honesty in your relationship with the father son and Holy Spirit. The move toward authenticity, the eradication of secrets, there are so many pieces to this. The joy of relationship the risk involved in relationship. Relationship and faith always involve risk. Religion involves risk. You just have to know what you have to do. You learn to live in the grace for one day. We learn to live without expectations which are disappointments waiting to happen.

This conversation helped reconstruct my faith and is now slowly but surely moving me towards participation in God’s community. God designed us to live in community and work with one another, and my role is to participate as a unique piece in God’s Creation. There are some parts of this conversation that impacted me drastically and others that I am still sketchy about. But hey, more than anything, I wanted some clarification on some aspects of theology and I happily got more that I asked for. All-in-all, Paul’s words were a message of love.

Peter's Challenge: FAITH

In my previous post (Peter's Challenge: 8 Weeks to Love), I talked about my "eight weeks to love" plan, and my first step was faith, the most tough and most foundational step. After about two weeks of deliberation, I finally grabbed a faint hold of my idea of faith. Since faith is the foundation for the attributes to follow, the time is absolutely necessary.

When I focused on faith the past couple weeks, I realized it requires belief and trust in something or someone. I realized there are some beliefs that can only be held onto by faith. Sometimes, you must have definite knowledge of faith, knowing that there is no absolute truth about an idea but at the same time knowing that is can must and only be accepted by faith, infallibly holding an indefinite ideology. The expression of this belief requires trusting God with the rough spots, trusting that God is on my team and will work things out for the better. There are so many aspects of God that I don’t comprehend, but one definite concept is that I am loved and cared for by God. God designed us to live in community and work with one another, and my role is to participate as a unique piece in God’s Creation. This participation requires the output of some of my greatest struggles, in the event that those form much of my being and much of my story. But because of past events, I have trust issues that have allowed me to build up some of the greatest walls against people. So part of I’m discovering that part of the expression of my faith is that I need to allow myself to be vulnerable and loved unconditionally by God and others. The Holy Spirit is making a better story for me, and I must forfeit my story.

Basically, I have been discovering that faith is optimism, a hope for something uncertain, holding onto the hope that things will work out, and knowing that regardless I can trust that God will provide and work things out for the better. I had been trying so long to prove to myself that some things were absolutely true, but that completely defeats the purpose of faith. Sometimes you just gotta hold on tight and see how things roll out.

PS. I had a conversation with the author of the Shack back in August that plays a huge role in some beliefs that I realized I can only hold onto by faith, click here to read it.

Peter's Challenge: 8 Weeks to Love

With the harsh spiritual season of winter this past spring, I spent my summer reconstructing my spiritual life back to a healthy spot. All I could really come up with was that I needed to "love." Returning to Point Loma, although still on the edge, I made my focal point of this year to love others because as a Christian that is what I am called to do. Two weeks ago, I went to my first church service at Flood Church after being back to San Diego, and Scripture reading stuck with me more than any other reference from a church service. The reference was 2 Peter 1:1-9, but the portion that stuck with me came from verses 5-7.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith, goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.

Immediately, those verses hit me. I had been focusing on love, and here Peter lays out a "formula" of virtues, leading you to love. I realized, “This is it! A way to construct a virtuous character focused on love!” I admire most that he tells us to "add to," making sure you hold on to what you learned before. At the beginning and the end are the most important ones to remember because "faith" is your foundation and "love" is your goal. Because of this, I am doing an eight week plan to get to love. Each week, I am focusing on a different one of these virtues, hoping that in the end I reach love. The process will not start until I grab a semi-firm grip on faith because it is one of the most important traits. 2 weeks ago I decided I was going to do this plan... and I still haven't left “faith”... I hope I grab ahold of this soon...
As I go along, I will be laying out a timeline/reminder on my wall of the focal words and important dates when something powerful happened or I learned something amazing that will link back to an entry in my journal. Right now, I have “Faith” taped on my wall, with a date (17 Aug 11) which I will get into more detail about when I write my “faith” follow-up blog. I pray that this is a life-changing process and something glorious rises out of it… and I can cut my padawan braid. Pray for wisdom in this time of discovery.

NOTE: For those who don’t know, I have been growing a padawan braid since my spiritual life became rough, and it has become an on-going symbol of my apprenticeship to God and that I am not ready. When God shows me something profound and I am ready, I will cut it off. But until then… it continues to grow.

Tetelestai: "It. Is. Finished."

I've been driving around the past month with 8 books sitting in my trunk, but I pick up one of these books once, maybe twice, a week. So as part of my goals for the next few weeks, I wanted to finish at least half of these books. I'm around 30minutes finishing the first one but I had to stop and write this blog because I was struck with an epiphany.

Several weeks ago, I was dying to read Rob Bell's latest book, Love Wins. Bell came and spoke at my college in February, and I had heard of this controversial book and wanted to pick it up. With all that I had been wanting to learn this summer, I ordered the book but simply could not wait for it to come. So, I found an audio version of the book online and downloaded it. I started listening to it, and then I realized I should take notes on my computer simultaneously, making it much easier to multitask as well as finish the book in less than 4 hours and have a collection of notes. With 30 minutes left on the audiobook, Bell struck me with an idea, and I merely could no longer focus because my thoughts were racing, he was continuing to talk, and I was still trying to take notes. So now I have paused the book, and put on my "Jon Schmidt Radio"(Solo Piano) on Pandora.

Although many, as well as myself, would say that Bell has some obsure beliefs, he presents an overwhelming image of the sacrifice of Christ using the story of the prodigal son. Within the story of the prodigal son, there are four smaller stories: the younger son's story of himself, the older son's story of himself, and the father's story for both of his sons. The younger son comes home thinking that he is unworthy to be called a son and will settle to be a servant for his father, but the father says otherwise, "Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found." Meanwhile, the older son comes home from the fields to this celebration and says to his father that he has been slaving away for his father and hasn't received as much as a goat for his own celebration with his friends, but his younger brother gets a whole celebration in his name even though he left. The father goes on to reshape his story as well, "My son... you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."

The younger son though he was unworthy to be called a son, and the older brother thought of himself as more of a servant, but the father tells them both that they are both his sons. I always thought this story was about returning to God and knowing that you will be accepted but there's more than that. It's about choosing heaven over hell, choosing to be loved for what you are or holding onto your beliefs about yourself. That's what Christ came to do, to tell us that we are loved. Return to Him becuase "It.Is.Finished."



During this last spring, a good friend of mine shared the meaning of "tetelestai" in our weekly friday track team devotional. tetelestai translated literally means "it is finished." It is the last word that Jesus said on the cross when he was crucified, but simply translated as "It is finished," the word loses it power and context. Back in the ancient days, when you owed someone you performed labor for them if you could not provide the money. When you had done enough labor, tetelestai was written on a business documents to say that someone's debt had been paid in full and no more money or labor was necessary, they were free. So when Jesus said "tetelestai" on the cross, He was saying "It is finished. Your debt has been paid in full. You are free."

I had heard this all before, but today it finally started coming together. My debt has been PAID IN FULL. God has said "YOU ARE MY SON." It is now up to me to accept God's story for me, or to hold to the story I have written myself, a story absent of love and soaked in insecurity. Choosing the latter is denying to live in the Kingdom of God and partaking in a reality where the love of God cannot flourish. "Tetelestai." My debt has been paid in full.

IT. IS. FINISHED.

Theology: Five Interrogative Questions.

Remember back when learning English grammar, you learn the five interrogative question words: who, what, when, where, and why? With my countless number of questions about God and being a "vessel of ideas" (The Rain Fell...), I've managed to barely organize my questions into these interrogative questions.

What is God?
In the Christian tradition, God seems to be this immutable, omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent being, but what do all those mean? These vague characteristics are in need of a more full definition. For simplicity sake, it seems more appropriate for the Christian believe these things and ignore what they truly me and rest on the belief that God as something that cannot be understood. That this "that than which nothing greater can be conceived" being is just as stated and could never be understood but rather must be followed by faith, requiring belief with the possibility that something will not work as hoped. But individuals still seem to rise the argument that they do not believe this God-thing exists but rather they know this God-thing exists, making the distinction between believing and knowing. Isn't the core of Christianity based around the belief that God exists? This Christian statement is contradictory in itself; and for this reason, I'm resting on the fact that although I may not think that God exists, I still hold on the belief that He does.

Who is God?
According to Christian belief, God is an individual who in its core is absolutely necessary, a being that must exist as the first-cause of all that which exists. It is a nice idea to think that all that which exists came into existence through the power of some powerful being who brought it all into existence. Lacking an evolutionary background, this seems to be one idea that, in its absence, leaves me in mystery wondering the origins of nature.

As a supposed all-loving, unchanging, all-powerful, all-knowing Creator, God’s number one characteristic mentioned by Christians today is His love, where the life altering belief of Christianity lies. Does this mean that although life may not seem to be going well, we can dwell on the belief, “At least I am loved by God”? Seems like a crutch, but maybe that’s where the secret resides. Leading me to my next question, “So then what am I to do?” Live life as though my sins have been washed away and follow Christ’s first and foremost commandments to love God and love others? Sounds about right, so why do people get caught up with everyone following the law and producing the works?

When is God?
When is God in respect to time? God is eternal. God is everlasting. Two similar and yet paradoxical ideas. The eternality of God states that He is without beginning or end, “Alpha and Omega,” that He is forever and outside the bounds of time, and therefore infinite. Everlasting, similar in the infinite sense of God’s being, but different stating He is ever lasting, enduring through time. Some would argue that this is just an aspect of God that we cannot understand and beyond our comprehension, similar to what was mentioned in the “What is God?” section. Well, that is an area of God that I cannot go because I cannot come to an firm truth, but just leads me to “Where is God?”

Where is God?
How does this God interact within nature? If this God-thing is outside of nature (Creation) but still interacts within nature, it still seems He is confined only to human conventions in order to present Himself, which beckons the even greater question “Does the will of this God hold power over our own free will?” The vastness of this question simultaneously calls the definitions of the terms into question, the statements of the Bible into question, and ultimately but unintentionally the authority of the Bible into question.

Is God present currently and interacting with our lives today? Did God create the world and let it roll, or is He still working? If He is, how is He working? From the stories of the Bible, I can derive that God interacted with those people, such as that in the supposed exodus and the giving of the Ten Commandments. So I very well believe God is interacting with us in some sort of way, but the extent is murky. Is God leading me to an ultimatum or is He letting me live my life allowing it to flourish where I can be most beneficial to “the Kingdom of God”?

Surely God can place boundaries on my life, but surely He also cannot make me choose the option to love Him. Perhaps I should not say that he cannot make me choose, but He leaves it open for me to choose. Therefore in the end, I will have chosen to love Him out of my own choice, bypassing forced love or forged love.

Why is God?
What is God’s purpose? As the first-cause of all that exists, God was not created with a purpose as that which resides in objects of Creation. More appropriately, what is God’s purpose in relation to mankind? Provide a list of dos and don’ts for people to live by? Interact with humankind and make life easier? Nah. Provide humans with supernatural gifts in order that He may be glorified? Eh, maybe partially. Work supernatural things in the lives of others and divinely reveal Himself? Closer. Redeem His created people from their sin that they may be free? Almost there. Redeem His created people from their sin that they may be free to live a life in which they can work to further His Kingdom of believers? Mmm, I like it.

The Rain Fell, The Floods Came, and The Winds Blew...

Matthew 7:24-27

²⁴"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵"And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. ²⁶"Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. ²⁷"The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell--and great was its fall."

Everyone says that when you come to college, you not only learn new things and meet knew people, but your beliefs are challenged and formulated. On a few occasions last year, I felt some of my beliefs were being challenged. But, the greatest struggle of my first year of college was being in a foreign environment and adapting to all that was around me, realizing the people I wanted to surround myself with and the people I didn't. Life has changed drastically from last year and establishing more of those friendships has begun to flourish. Not until recently though did I begin to truly have my beliefs challenged, nay demolished... obliterated.

Through my philosophy class and some conversations with professors on varying perspectives of theology, I have begun to lose where I stand on my ideology on myself and most importantly God. My philosophical idea on my own psychology has me content with pondering ideas and not coming to some sort of consensus but rather thinking about myself for the sake of learning. This has opened me up to the different theological perspectives and seeing where they stand, but not absolutely see the harmony between ideas or even figure what I believe myself. "This idea makes sense. That idea makes sense. Which one fits the best in my web of beliefs? (If I even have a belief that is founded on logical methods)"

Throughout the Christian environment, there are universal beliefs on the character of God, but give it a little bit more thought and where do these terms come from and how do they come from? They don't really seem to be mentioned in the Bible, given the Bible has absolute credibility; and if they are stated, they seem to be blown out of proportion. To some extent, it seems these beliefs are held onto out of pure ignorance and possibly insecurity.

Recently, the most difficult task has been not using my faith in God as a "crutch." To think of this idea of a God that loves us all regardless and His Son died on a cross so that we can live "free" all sounds a little obscure. Yes, I know it's supposed to, but lately, the church spends much focus on the love of God, the love, the love, the love. "Don't worry, God loves you." Could it be that given someone eases up on the stress of life, they are more relaxed, perform better, optimism rises, and they are able to see some good in life suddenly?

Gnostic ideas lead me to Christ being the expert on humanity and knew the best way in which humans could function, in community with one another supported by good deeds; but that idea dies after taking a glance at the miracles and then the resurrection. But even, the resurrection is about the only thread holding me to what I believed before, and if that never happened, we're left with nothing. So I've been battling feelings of agnosticism, and pondering the existence and character of God.

To those around me, I've described myself as this vessel of ideas, but I don't know what is true and I don't have any sort of foundation. But the key aspect of Christianity is belief and faith. Although I may not think some things are true, although I may doubt some of which I've been told, Christianity requires having faith. Don't toss out what you've been told because you've become skeptical on its rationality. One of my professors was telling me that the thing about us youth is that we become so passionate about a new belief we have, and we jump from passion to passion. Slow down and give it more thought. So in light of my skepticism, I'm holding a remote foundation and discovering my beliefs on God.

What a Beautiful God..

Over Martin Luther King Jr. weekend, a few friends and I made the trek over to Tempe, Arizona where a friend's aunt lives. With a long weekend, it would be fun to just get out of San Diego and see something different. Some may think it's crazy that we went from San Diego to Arizona because San Diego's a remarkable city in itself, but to be honest, seeing it everyday makes leaving for just a weekend something that must almost be done.

Driving through the mountains and the desert was something I could enjoy. I saw beauty in the rock formations and the pillaring mountains in the distance. To some extent, it reminded me of home back in Oregon, just a lot drier and a lot warmer (for this season at least). Looking at them I just thought more about God's amazing beauty, that He created all these different places, different environments, containing various plant and animal life.

When we arrived to the house in Tempe, we changed our clothes, and my friend's aunt quickly sped us over to a mountain that we would hike and see the sunset. We didn't have time to make it to the top, but we still made it to a portion of the mountain with an outstanding view of the sunset. Just like any other location, the sunset was as beautiful as ever, another slice of the beauty that God showed me over the trip.  

As we were sitting around the house recovering from our drive and then our hike, one of my friends played a song that used to be on my original "February" playlist, "Beautiful" by Shawn McDonald. I hadn't heard this song in a while, but it could not have come back up at a better time. This song is about insignificant man in comparison to our grand God. This guy is looking at all the beauty around him, the sun the stars, and asks the question "What am I?" God created all these beautiful and marvelous things, things way bigger than us, as well as ourselves. We feel so incomparable to the mountains, the sunsets, the galaxies, and yet He died for us that we might live. Might, His death does not guarantee us life. It's up to us to accept it or not. He died for us to give us the option of a better life, His pain, His suffering, for an alternative option for our lives.

As I look into the stars
Pondering how far away they are
How You hold them in Your hands
And still You know this man
You know my inner most being, oh
Even better than I know, than I know myself
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I, what am I
As I look off into the distance
Watching the sun roll on by
Beautiful colors all around me, oh
Painted all over the sky
The same hands that created all of this
They created you and I
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I
That You might die, that I might live
What am I, what am I, what am I, what am I
What am I
What am I

Our time in Arizona came to a glorious end when we decided to wake up and hike to the top of that mountain to see the sunrise before we left. Getting college students up at 5:30 in the morning on a day off of classes is a difficult task, but we got ourselves to do it. We packed up our things, ate a bagel, and went on our way over the Camelback Mountain. We got to the mountain around 6:30 and began to the top through the darkness with our night vision that hardly kicked in. As we climbed up the familiar and easy part of the trail with steps and railings, it gradually became lighter, and we could see more. We reached one viewpoint but knew we knew we could not stop because we needed to make it to the top before the sun rose.

The hike became more and more difficult as we raced up the mountain, and I didn't have the energy I had a couple days before and didn't really know where I was going. I wasn't jumping from rock to rock and hopping from here to there. As I became more tired, I started asking myself where my energy had gone. Soon enough, I realized I was still waking up, I had maybe 5 hours of sleep, and I hadn't eaten a full meal since 4pm the day before (excluding the ice cream cookie sandwich the night before and bagel that morning). Despite it all, I knew I had to keep climbing to make it to the top for the sunrise. I desperately wanted to see the beauty God had in store.

After taking some unnecessary detours and quick swigs of water, I made in to the top with time to spare. A few minutes later, two of my friends that I had "lost" about midway had made it up. We sat there and resting and just watching the sun rise up over the mountains in the distance. As I was taking pictures, "Beautiful" by Phil Wickham came to mind and I started singing it to myself as I marveled in God's beauty: "I see Your face in every sunrise. The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes. The world awakens in the light of the day. I look up to the sky and say, 'You're Beautiful.'"

Looking back at this past weekend, I can't help but smile thinking about all the beauty God showed me. The climb up that mountain reminds me so much of an attitude towards God. There are numerous metaphors for climbing mountains, overcoming struggles, accomplishing a great task, etc; but for me, climbing this mountain is how I want to pursue the Father. Our relationship with God involves coming out of the darkness and into the light. That transition requires obstacles, but they are most beneficial alongside perseverance. Though life may bring struggles, I will keep my focus on the Father and know that He has sometime glorious in the end. If I don't continue to go, I might delay the process or possibly even miss it.
Just GO!

Theology: New Bible Glasses!

One of my favorite and most life-changing things I learned this last semester in Old Testament and New Testament was the story of the Bible as a whole. The Bible contains the story of Israel (God’s People) and their relationship to God. In order to fully comprehend the Bible, these stories must be understood. Before taking these classes, I had a distorted view of the Bible. Although I understood it as the inspired Word of God and accounts of various people along with knowing it had great value in my life today, I still had a limited knowledge of what it truly was. After those two classes, I have a more full and realistic understanding of the Bible.

The basis of this story is the faithfulness of God. Yeah, I knew that characteristic of God, but I didn’t understand that trait of God was the core of the whole story. I’m sure you know the story of Creation and the fall: in the beginning, God created a perfect Creation, which by its own rebellion, idolatry, became corrupt. After the Creation became corrupt, God makes a promise to Abraham that He will make him a great nation in Gen 12:2-3:

“… I will make you a great nation, and I will bless you, and I will make your name great, and you shall be a blessing; and I will bless those you bless you, and the one who curses you I will curse. And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed.”

This promise continued through Abraham, Moses, and then the line of David. Through David, the Savior Israel is to come.

Isaiah 9:6-7 “For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; and the government will rest on His shoulders; and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Might God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace, on the throne of David and over his kingdom…”

The foundation of Christian belief rests on this promise that He would redeem Israel and bring His people back to Himself through a Savior, Messiah. All the importance of Christianity is dependent on the Messiah, who was prophesized as the Savior of the world and came in the New Testament.

God proves Himself faithful with the coming of Christ, the Messiah. The gospel by Matthew tells us the story of the gospel as Christ being the “divine Davidic king (Jesus and Community by Gerhard Lohfink)” as well as incorporate the prophesies to connect it to the earlier prophecies told by the prophets within the Old Testament. The Messiah was the promise, the fullness and intensity of the fulfillment of God’s promise, that would end Israel’s exile from God, unify her, and give her rest from her enemies. Through Christ’s character, He taught her how she (God’s people) ought to live in community; and on the cross, He exemplified the epitome of love by showing us that "greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13).” In His resurrection, He showed God’s power over death and fulfilled God’s promise to restore Israel. Christ, the Messiah, was the One who made eternal life feasible to us through His sacrifice, like in Hosea 6:2: “He will revive us after two days; He will raise us up on the third day, that we may live before Him.” Our sin was put to death on the cross, and we were brought to new life through the resurrection.

Through the teachings of Christ presented throughout the New Testament, we are encouraged to pursue the continuation of the Jewish messianic movement. Since the Messiah taught us how to live, we are to follow Him and the ways that He taught. This way of living is the image of life in the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom of God includes love towards Him as well as love towards one another as Christ taught, and obedience is the manifestation of faith. When you believe and have faith in something, you do what it asks of you. Hebrews reminds us the trials and suffering others went through before us and encourages us to persevere. Christ took the ultimate extremity of suffering on the cross, showing that our faithfulness to God does not stop at death.

We all know that Revelation is full of apocalyptic stories, but I realized it goes beyond all the bizarre happenings and unveils portions of the story of Israel and God’s promise and faithfulness. Eventually, Revelation presents this time and place where God’s holy people will worship Him seated on His throne in His holy land, the gathering and community of God’s people in worship and praise. Christ is the central key that restored us back to God and turned the whole story of the Bible into a story of creation and new creation. God created us in the beginning and will restore us in the end. Through the crazy and strange stories of the apocalypse, Revelation reveals the perfect and complete creation that is to come, the “consummation of holiness,” the glorious end of our story.

This definitely ended up longer than I thought it would be, but I just found it all so outstanding. Just seeing it all come together in its unity amazed me. The whole story of the Bible revolves around God’s faithfulness and God restoring Israel, His people. I hope you got something out of this… God bless!
-Sean NicDao

Bible: Paul's Call to Remain

Tonight, today, or should I say lately? I've been feeling this great desire to develop some good solid Christian friendships. Good, right? The thing is this desire has started to lead me away from friendships of the past (not bad friendships, definitely good ones, but not so godly). Well tonight, as I started thinking about these friendships, I felt something was just not right and got led into this pensive mood. I decided to set out on an adventure through Scripture to find some sort of encouragement and decided to go to Paul's letter to the Philippians. After my New Testament class, I realized that Philippians is a great place to find verses on perseverance with an outcome in mind. So figured, "Why not find some encouragement to persevere?!" haha. Here's what I found.

[21] For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. [22] But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. [23] But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; [24] yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake. [25] Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy in the faith, [26] so that your proud confidence in me may abound in Christ Jesus through my coming to you again.
Philippians 1:21-26

Caliente? I would like to say it is very much so! haha. We all know the first verse, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Yippee! Live for Christ, but death is the great end goal for heaven is so much better. What got to me now though is the latter portion of the passage. Paul becomes split between the glory of being with Christ and the responsibility to extend God's Kingdom. He realizes that it's much better that he stay with these people for their sake and the sake of the Kingdom of God so that Israel, God's people, may grow in community and relationship with one another.

When I read this the first time through, I didn't make the connection between death and Paul's desire to leave. I interpreted it as Paul thinking it would be much better for him to seclude himself that he may grow himself than stay with God's people. Boy did I have it wrong, but similar concept. My desire to withdraw from those old friendships that aren't "satisfying" me spiritually is wrong. Yes, Christ calls us to be set apart, like a city on a hill in Matt 5:14; but in the next verses, He calls us to not hide our light but let it "shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

By withdrawing from my "non-spiritual" friends, I'm withdrawing some of their opportunity to se the glory of God, and what unreasonable attitude is that? I love how this passage reminded me that although I am called to be set apart, I can't be so set apart that I'm doing nothing to further the Kingdom. The Kingdom is most important, the rest comes later..

Bible: Come, Let Us Return...

In order to understand my relationship with God, you gotta first and foremost understand the passage God continually brings me to. To give you the full context of the my favorite verse (Hosea 6:1), I'll give you the chunk of passage.

5:14 For I will be like a lion to Ephraim
   And like a young lion to the house of Judah
   I, even I, will tear to pieces and go away,
   I will carry away, and there will be none to deliver.
5:15 I will go away and return to My place
   Until they acknowledge their guilt and seek My face;
   In their affliction they will earnestly seek Me.
6:1 "Come, let us return to the LORD
   For He has torn us, but He will heal us;
   He has wounded us, but He will bandage us.
6:2 "He will revive us after two days;
   He will raise us up on the third day,
   That we may live before Him.
6:3 "So let us know, let us press on to know the LORD
   His going forth is as certain as the dawn;
   And He will come to us like the rain,
   Like the spring rain watering the earth."
Hosea 5:14 - 6:3

So the first section (Chapter 5), God is rebuking Israel for basically her prostituting herself out to other idols, sin (I'm sure you all know the story, but just a quick recap). Once chapter 6 rolls around, Israel responds to God's rebuking.

I first found this Scripture back in my senior year of high school, I was going through a rough time, and someone I had talked to shared Shane & Shane with me. He explained how he love the analogy of Hosea, and one of their songs on their Psalms album, "Hosea" (yeah, silly huh?) is written after this portion of Scripture, basically word-for-word. You can even listen to it on YouTube, but unnecessay. Anywho, after he had shared this song with me, I absolutely fell in love with it a few days later when my life drastically shifted. This portion of Scripture has come up so many times throughout my life: when I was betrayed, when I made horrible decisions, when I left for college, etc. Ultimately, it reminds me of God's faithfulness and length of grace, I even almost got it tattooed around my forearm a couple weeks ago so that I would never forget this passage (not that I could).

I am in love with the analogy of God tearing us apart, simply to bring us back to Him. When we become so far gone, God is not just there waiting for us to come back to Him when we feel like it. We ARE His people, His sheep, and when we go astray, sometimes He has to rip us to shreds to get us on the right track: "He has torn us, but He will heal us (6:1)." That's part of His grace. His grace doesn't let us do what we want but entails Him leading us back to Him by shifting our lifes. He shreds us to pieces to get down to the core of our being, ripping away all the layers of idolatry that we build up, so that He can get who we are in our core to remember Him, His faithfulness, and His promise. Our job is to place our faith and trust in Him, to "press on to know the Lord (6:3)." Countless times, God has stripped away all my distractions in order to get my to refocus on him.

So even today, as I look over this Scripture for the hundredth time, it still seems like the first: impacting me every single time, reminding me of His faithfulness in the past, and leading me to trusting Him with the future.